November 29, 2021
Dana-
Jim and I were just laughing about the first time we got together with you and Dave. We had dinner at your place in Berkeley, and then we played Trivial Pursuit. There was much talk about another, umm, earlier (pre-“me”) time you guys had played Trivial Pursuit with Jim. I just remember laughing a lot that night, and really liking you and Dave.
And for a long time, that’s what it was—soo much fun when we all got together, which was often. You and Dave were always warm and welcoming, and we all always laughed a lot together. Over time, we shared more personal stories of things going on in our lives. But in the beginning, it was a friendship built upon the brotherhood of our husbands, as opposed to a friendship between us, independent of them.
At some point, though, that changed. You have become one of my closest friends. You are an incredible sounding board. You really listen…carefully, and without judgment. You give thoughtful advice. You find the humor in everything. Despite how busy you are, you find a way to check in. I know I can count on you to be there, and I always know I can trust you…unequivocally. You are generous, deliberate, and open-minded. I admire you, and am thankful for your belief in me. And it’s still always soo much FUN to get together.
We have so many memories over the past 35 years—ranging from pure fun to heartwarming, from heartbreaking to hilarious, to some that just evoke a sense of familiarity and ease--all of them cherished, showcasing the ups and downs of our lives. As I was thinking of these memories, I was reliving them…seems like a crazy rollercoaster, but thankfully these moments were spread out over time… so here are some of the first that come to mind (in no particular order):
New Year’s in Alameda (stealing the Bisquick from the grand piano)…Staying with you and Dave when home improvements went terribly wrong…you guys visiting the hospital when Delaney was born...You telling me, with a smile and assurances, that, yes, we were three tables short at the Old Federal Reserve Building an hour before the wedding, but everything would be ok (and it was, thanks to you!)...You and Dave meeting me (pregnant with Andrew) at Alta Bates in the middle of the night to take care of Delaney while I was in the ER… Laughing hysterically on the couch in our condo in Walnut Creek (after a couple of bottles of red wine) while Jim and Dave did their dance loop through the kitchen…The MS diagnosis…Your generously hosting our family when we come to town… Countless nights over the years in four different Alameda living rooms, talking ‘til all hours, wine in hand…You and Mark coming to visit us in the Palisades when I was deciding which “beige” to paint on our walls…The unimaginable loss of Dave…Umbria, Tuscany, and the beautiful dinner celebrating his life…Lunch on the terrace in Sausalito to celebrate your birthday…Your visit to LA about a year after Dave died, your eyes hollow, revealing the grief inside…A year after that, your eyes sparkling again, as you had faced the pain head on and traveled through it…English muffins, beer, cheese, salami, and crackers for Jim…Duffy-boating off Balboa Island…Providing a place for me to stay and take care of Delaney when her boyfriend called a break suddenly three days before Finals…Dinner at the Ritz Carlton (part of your tour of CA marinas) with a very happy Jim revealing he found a new job…Having front seats to Jim and Dave cracking each other up with movie quotes…Long telephone calls on your way home from work…
You are a true blessing in my life. I am so thankful for you, and for the way that you love Jim, Delaney, Andrew and Matthew. You are family to us. You are our everlasting gift from Dave.
Happy 55th. Thank you for including us in this amazing weekend. I’m so happy to celebrate YOU, with you.
I love you more than words.
Susie